King Bush?

The text of President George W. Bush's State of the Union address has been released and there is a rumor -- and this is just a rumor, mind you -- that he changed his address several times.

In an early version, he is rumored to have said, "There is no need for a mid-term election. I will appoint members of Congress."

His advisors wisely thought that was not appropriate and might lead to legal problems. More than he has now.

"OK," he said. "How about this: 'No one need run for the mid-term election, because we are at war and by my special war powers, I will run this country.'"

"But Mr. President," his speech writer argued, "If they don't like you spying on Americans without court orders, they surely won't like you telling congress you will run things."

"Well, what about The Patriot Act?" the president asked. "We are at war!"

"Yes, sir, but it's a war of your own making. We bombed Iraq; they didn't attack us."

The president is rumored to have thought a moment and said, "OK, I'll just name myself king of the United States until the war is over."

The speech writer thought a moment and said, "Can't do that either, Mr. President."

Mr. Bush looked at him with a blank expression on his face.

"We can't do that because Garfield Goose was proclaimed King of the United States half a century ago." He was refering to a popular children's TV show on WGN, Chicago, in the 1950s and 1960s.

"Damn!" the president said and put his cowboy boots clad feet back on his desk.

"Well, hell," he said. "Just tell them what they want to hear and let it go."