CBS' 'Early Show' needs major changes

My wife loves CBS' "The Early Show."
She is in the minority.
While the show's producers may tout it as the fastest growing early morning show, viewers are paying much more attention to NBC's "Today" and ABC's "Good Morning, America."
After being involved in media professionally since 1972, I have a few suggestions.
If CBS wants to do better in the ratings with their morning program they are going to have to do one thing. They must focus on the viewer instead of the hosts.
The absolute worst segment on network TV was aired in the midst of massive job layoffs around the country. What did "The Early Show" do? They sent the three hosts off on extravagant trips.
I realize the idea came from "Today's" segment on "Where in the World is Matt Lauer?" But the "Today" segment was based on a educational computer game, "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?"
CBS' version had no point, other than to say, "Look how special we are!"
I wanted to scream at the TV, "It's not about you!"
Another segment that illustrates the point was the mini version of "This is Your Life." Who were the subjects? The co-hosts, of course.
"It's not about you!"
Until recently, the bumpers around commercial breaks were all about -- you guessed it -- the hosts.
Who cares?
Now the bumpers seem to focus more on candid shots of their celebrity guests and that is an improvement.
I could mention the time Rodriquez insisted on quoting her banker as an authority when interviewing the head of the FDIC or some other real banking authority.
It's REALLY not about you, Maggie.
Recently Rodriquez and the other female host were "on assignment" which probably means someone decided to fix the show's network problems by tweaking the appearance of the women.
You know a show is in trouble when the substitute hosts do a much better job than the regular hosts.
It wouldn't hurt for the show to focus less on celebrity journalism. I really don't care about Jon and Kate and their eight kids. If I did, I would watch them on TLC.
When the show focuses on something newsworthy, it does a credible job.
While CBS has fallen from its height in TV news, it still has a few good reporters -- young and more mature reporters.
No one wants a morning show to be all hard news, but you should at least thing the hosts care about you. Harry Smith acts as if he cares about the viewers. I wish he could instill that in the producers and his co-hosts.
OUr local CBS affiliate, WTHI-TV, Terre Haute, does a wonderful job with local news, even in the morning.
They seem to care about the viewer much more than the "CBS Early Show" -- even when WTHI-TV completely misses a local cut away or the anchor hiccups through a news break.
Come think of it, I want to scream at here, "It's not about you." Maybe she belongs on the CBS "Early Show."

What th- ? Drew Carey new host of 'The Price Is Right'

According to CBS.com, Drew Carey is announcing he has come to an agreement with the producers of "The Price Is Right" to be the new host when the show's 36th season begins this fall.
Carey will replace Bob Barker, who retired after 50 years on TV.
You know, Carey is a great choice! He has a great sense of humor, he is from the Midwest and there is probably nothing offensive about him.
We won't even discuss rumors Rosie O'Donnell was Barker's first choice.
Congratulations, Drew! Best wishes!!
I couldn't think of a better choice, though he certainly wasn't an obvious choice.

Still discovering 'Still Standing'

For some reason TV shows seem to do better when they are stripped (syndicated 5 days a week) than in their original run. "Still Standing" is a case in point.
Linda and I love watching the show about the Millers and I don't even remember watching it when it was on CBS TV. In fact, thanks to cable we can watch different episodes pretty much continually from 5 p.m. to 7 p.m.
Take the episode that just ended.
Bill and Judy Miller, the antithesis of the couple on the Donna Reed Show and light years away from Ozzie and Harrie, have met a new couple. The couple seems to like them both but then begin working things out so they can be with Judy and not Bill.
Bill and Judy think it's because one of them is the Marian in the Fitz and Marian couple they know.
Marian doesn't seem to fit in with anyone. So, Bill and Judy begin competing to prove which one of them is "the Marian".
Meanwhile, their brainiac son, Brian (Taylor Ball), and his friend happen upon a video Judy's sister made for her husband. It gets Brian's friend's hormones worked up and he talks Brian into getting a photo of a mole on Judy's sister's butt because it looks like it might be a melanoma.
It turns out Brian's friend is just a voyeuristic guy who thinls the aunt is hot.
If you haven't seen the show, how can I explain it to you?
The Flintstones in the 1990s? Yeah, that would pretty much sum it up.
Judy is definitely hot (played by Jami Gertz). Bill (Mark Addy) is definitely a neaderthal, whose best years as a high school football player are really behind him. Now he sells bathroom fixtures at a Chicago area mall.
The family is rounded out by daughters Lauren (Renee Olstead) and Tina (Soleil Borda).
The sister, Linda (Jennifer Irwin), spends way too much time at Bill and Judy's. Linda was obviously dropped on her head once too often as a child.
It's just a really fun show and I was disappointed when I learned it had been cancelled before we started watching.
Check out imdb.com for more information on the show and the actors.

What's the DISH on Distant TV Networks and Satellite TV?

— or — some days they can send my satellite TV DIRECTly to Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire!

In the beginning ...

God created fire and he saw that it was good.

And people sat around their portable fires in their caves or outside their dwellings and talked, telling stories and singing with their families.

Later ...

Man invented the radio. And he thought it was very good. Eventually, the electric box brought Jack Benny, Fibber McGee and Molly, The Lone Ranger and even the NBC Orchestra into his home.

Then, he invented television. And, not sure what to put on it, he filmed Jack Benny, Fibber McGee and Molly and The Lone Ranger. The classical music didn't go over too well, so he played that on Sunday afternoons. But Dick Clark found out that popular music could draw an audience when vivacious teens danced on camera. So, "American Bandstand" and a host of imitators were created.

Americans loved quantity more than quality, so man said, "If half a dozen channels on TV are good, 30 or even 130 channels would be better." (He didn't care what he put on those channels, just as long as there were more and more channels filled with the same stuff and different people.)

So, cables were strung from high towers and even the tops of lofty mountains, down into the valleys so people could receive many more channels. It was the same drivel, but static and snow on the picture were reduced.

Then man saw people would pay a monthly price for their cable-TV and man thought, "Aha! What if we could provide people far out in the country with hundreds of channels and charge them each month for their reception?"

And man invented satellite television.

But there was a problem called the FCC -- the Federal Communications Commission.

One day, in a move to protect local network TV stations and, perhaps, cable TV companies, the FCC passed a ruling (i.e. the same thing as a law for all intents and purposes). The ruling said, "Thou shalt not offer distant networks to people who receive signals from satellite TV."

And DISH satellite customers became very wroth.

People in Brazil, Ind., received conflicting information from DISH network (Direct TV did not carry local channels). Some people were told, "You won't be affected. You will still get ABC-TV from WRTV in Indianapolis." Others were told, "Yes, you will lose your ABC channel from Indianapolis."

Then Dec. 1 came and people in Brazil lost both WRTV-6 (ABC) and WTHR-13 (NBC) from Indianapolis.

And the DISH technical support people promised TV antennas would be installed on their customers' houses free of charge, so those people could receive Indianapolis TV, free of charge. But the DISH people forgot why cable-TV was invented -- that normal antennas don't pull in distant TV stations very well.

So, DISH operators called their customers in Brazil and said, "We'll have to buy better antennas for you -- make an appointment for a few months down the road."

The future hasn't' been written yet, but I would not be surprised if one day I read in The Brazil Times:

"Wife calls 911 when her husband tears out their TV equipment, starts fire in the back yard, and begins singing."

Thank goodness for books and libraries! (and newspapers!)

Frank Phillips is The Times editor. He can be e-mailed at frankphi@hotmail.com — assuming his e-mail is working.